The Drive- By Truckers show was last night. It was amazing. Jack Daniels handled everything, and it was a lot nicer get up than I thought it was going to be. We got free drink tickets on entry, there was food and a bunch of goodies once we got inside. I will probably post pics tomorrow. Hubby is playing NHL 10 on Xbox and it makes it lag if you do too much online. We had a great time at the show though. We had to catch the train so we missed the encore, which I am sure they rocked but its ok. I would rather get home and not have to sleep at the station lol.

My interview at Claire was today too. I think I rocked it, I answered the questions I was asked with confidence and I seemed to hit it off good with the managers. The only thing is that the job is for a part time management position and even though I did great in the interview, my lack of experience in the area of retail, let alone management, may hurt my chances of getting the job. I am keeping my fingers crossed though cause it seems like a pretty cool place to work, and who knows, they may give me a shot. Positive thinking equal positive results, right? or So I have heard.

I was hoping to go back home to California for a thanksgiving visit, but it doesn't look like it is going to happen. It really sucks cause I miss home tons, but I really need to find a job. If I don't hear anything the week of thanksgiving, I think I am going to call for my results, if they tell me I didnt get the job, then I may still book a ticket back home. The holidays are going to be super hard for me not being able to see my family. I get pretty teary eyed just thinking about it. I am scared by the time xmas comes around I am going to have a breakdown and be a mess . I gotta do what I gotta do though, it would be easier if I was working because at least then I would be out of the house, and not sitting around all day thinking about it.

They mean little to no posting for me, sorry! I just perfer to write when I am alone, and my hubby likes to be nosie.

The hubby fell asleep on my shoulder during the game, he is sleeping on my shoulder as I type this. I don't know why, but I feel more in love with him in this very moment then I ever have. I am afraid to move too much because I might wake him.

Yesterday got even shittier, I never had the chance to come on and rant about it. Ricky called me around 1 right before I was leaving the house to get some stuff done. He told me I should calm down and try to have a good day, then proceeds to tell me that he talked to his dad about his sister and he said he would talk to her. I completely flipped. There was no reason for him to tell his dad, and it would only make this worse. I got really pissed and just told him I was fuckin done with the day and hung up on him.

But things got better, I got a call back from a job I had never even applied for lol. It's at Claire's, I applied for Icing which is just the little bit mature version of Claire's. Icing wasn't hiring so they gave my number to Claire's and they want to see me on Monday for an interview. Right now I don't care where I work, I just need a job. It sounds like they need someone to pierce ears and the lady said on the phone that if I was comfortable with it, they would train me on peircing...I am all for it.

I am really glad I got that phone call too because it made me in a much better mood before I had to pick up his sister and stuff. His dad called me when I got back home, their work meeting ran late so he was calling to let me know our dinner was cancelled, and to ask about his daughter. I told him I don't mind giving her rides, because I don't, I just don't like it when I am not asked for a ride. I told him that I was just frustrated and I think Ricky as well as myself blew things a little out of porportion. I was upset, but thats just becasue I was told I was giving her a ride, and not asked...because she asked Ricky doesn't mean she asked me. He understood and said he doesn't blame me for being upset about it and said that I should be asked for the ride, because I am the one taking the time to do it.

I so badly wanted to tell him that they need to quit spoiling her, she is an adult and she shouldn't be depending so much on others. The thing is I can't, I know I can't. It is none of my business how they raise their children. They complain about the way she is, but what they don't realize is they raised her that way. Ricky says I just grew up differently. When I turned 13 my parent's gave me my own hamper and taught me how to wash my own clothes, I never had to wash my parents clothes, but they made sure I did my own. For as long as I can remember I have had basic household chores, clean my room, do the dishes, clean the bathroom, sweeping, mopping etc. It wasn't that my parents treated me like a slave, they worked all day and needed help keeping up the house. They gave me an allowance and let me do what I wanted as long as the chores were done. They weren't hard and I learned really quick that it was better to do what they say so I could do what I wanted. I used to bitch about it like any normal teen, but now I am very thankful for it. 

seriously, getting sick of this whole driving everyone everywhere thing. They just automatically assume I have nothing to do. I mean, I know I don't work, but i still have running around to do. And just because I don't work doesnt mean I want to be playing taxi driver and sitting in physio appointments waiting...i would rather get shit done around the house. I did a bitch move when his sister messaged me about a ride on facebook. i just closed it lol. I didnt want to answer. Its just the way she asked, it wasnt even asking, more demanding "hey, pick me up for physio, i asked ricky"....like seriously? i dont need to be asked, you ask my husband, and he says yeah, and thats an answer? fuck that. She called and I let it ring awhile before answering, I should have never picked up,but I figured it was probably Ricky. I probably sounded like a bitch on the phone but I dont care because she had major attitude.  

I just can't stand people who have no idependence, but get mad at the people they are depending on. It has always bugged me about his sister, she bitched all the time when her dad was making her appointments, and its like come on, you are 20 yrs old and you can't make your own doc appointments? The whole driving thing too, she most likely has enough money in the bank to buy herself a used car, a basic starter car, and she most likely has enough money to buy herself drivers training. There comes a time in everyones life where you gotta take shit by the horns and get it done yourself.  Independence is an amazing feeling and I really feel sorry for his sister because she doesn't want it. She doesn't do anything for herself, no laundy, no dishes, no cleaning of her room, she has no household chores...her mommy and daddy do everything for her. But not only that, she would bitch about laundry she needed or stuff like that, and its like you are a big girl, do it yourself!

I gotta talk to Ricky too...just got off the phone with him. I completely went off on him about his sister, and he said I can always say no. Which I know I can, but they know I have nothing to do, and it will only start shit, she would throw a hissy fit and our dinner would be awkward, because we are having dinner tonight. I told him I don't mind drivng her around, because I don't, but the asking on the day of thing is getting old. It doesnt help that I am grumpy and this kinda just set me over the edge. I told him it is the principle of everything and that I don't have patience today for people who care to have no independence, and an attitude.  I asked him about the whole her asking him thing, she asked him last night when he went over there, and he told her she had to ask me. So this whole time the whole "Ricky said you would drive me" isn't true. Ugh so fucking stupid.

Time for me to blast some tunes, clean up the house, take a shower, and run some errands.

Honestly, It is in City of Angels. When Meg Ryan's character and Nicholas Cage's character make love for the first time. He has never felt anything since he was an angel, so she like feeds him a bunch of fruit and stuff, then they have sex.  Something about that scene has always touched me. It is hard to really put into words. It is the whole experience of sensation for the first time and how she made it special for him. I dig it.

Won the Drive By Truckers tickets last night! Super excited, and I cant wait for Sunday!

Now I have another mission, to win Weezer tickets lol, I really dont care about it, but Ricky would like to go, and I really like the openers, so I am going to try. I don't mind seeing any band, as long as it is free haha.

Gotta start getting ready. Today I am going to have lunch with the in-laws and grandparents. After that I have to do some more grocery shopping, and the car needs gas. I had to take Ricky to work this morning and it was the first time we have had a sheet of ice on our windsheild, he was almost late. This is going to be the first winter I have ever gone through, california doesnt get cold like this. I am going to have to remember to wake up earlier to let the car warm up and defrost all the windows...i need to get a snow shovel, and I need to get an ice scraper thingy for the windsheild....geez. The things you do for love haha.

So one of my favorite bands, Drive by Truckers is playing in toronto on Sunday, but you can't buy any tickets, you have to win them, So all week this week Ricky and I are listening to the radio just waiting around for the time to call. I really hope we get some tckets cause they dont make it out here often, and they freakin rock it live! I love them!  hmph..stupid how you cant just buy them.

Its 1pm, and I havent even showered yet, I still have grocery shopping to do. blah. After gilmore girls lol.

If I had one night left to live I would love for all my family and friends to get together for my last meal. It would be a brunch type of thing, a good ol southern cook out. We would have chicken and ribs, collard greens, mac n cheese, potato salad, pasta salad, my family's smashed potatos, sweet potato casserole, and my grandmas tamales. For dessert we would have bannana pudding, better than sex cake, and snickerdoodles. ...it would pretty much be a massive thanksgiving haha.

It would be early enough that at night I could come home with the hubby, we could play some video games, watch a movie (the wedding singer), then we would head upstairs to bed, we would look at all our photos and talk about the good times. Then make love and cuddle...the perfect scenario for me.

So halloween was pretty lame. We did nothing and we didnt even have many trick or treaters. I have like a full bucket of candy left over, which sucks for this whole diet thing. Oh well, off the health kick wagon...once again. There is no way I can say no to sweet tarts and tootsie pops haha. Bad time to start dieting with the holidays coming up. I am not giving up entirely, I have been walking and doing pilates, just not eating as healthy as I should.

Halloween wasn't that bad really, we watched some hockey, played some video games, passed out some candy, then watched a movie with Ricky and his sister. Sunday, it was the same scenario, minus the sister and minus the passing of candy...well not entirely. I passed lots of candy to Ricky and he did the same to me haha.

I went to the mall this morning and put resumes everywhere. I hope I get a call back, really tired of sitting around the house all the time. The extra money would be nice too. I want some boots! why do they have to be so effin expensive!

So yesterday was a mess, I sat around all day, did absolutely nothing, and pigged out on a delicious hamburger and poutine because I was too lazy to cook. Ricky is great and let me cry my heart out over how upset I am about my uncle passing away.

Today is a new day though and I got a burst of optimism again. I went out looking for a job today and now I am back home. I get a call and Ricky asks me if I can pick up his sister from school before getting him from work. I should be leaving now, but I really dont want to. I am kinda sick of being treated like his family's taxi service...i guess she called while i was out, and then called him at work and was freaking out cause I wasnt home, then called her mom to see if she can check if my car was outside. Thats the sucky thing about living so close to his parents, ricky will come home from work sometimes and say "My mom told me you were gone around 3, where did you go?"  or "My sister said she saw you driving out of the complex at 11, where were you going?"...its like fuck, I have nothing to hide, so why is everyone checking to see if I am home, and why the fuck do they care?...ok i really gotta go haha

...just kinda drives me nuts, ya know?

My great uncle passed away yesterday. He was my pappy's last living brother. Really great guy and it totally sucks he is gone. I am not handling this as well as I thought. I wish I was back home. He was 96 so he lived a good long life, and he pretty much just died of old age, slowly all his organs started to fail him. I have dealt with alot of death in my life, and I have a grieving process I go through....out here it cant be done. I can't sit it my aunts backyard with my cousin, smoking the hookah and drinking jack and listening to Johnny Cash, Counting Crows, and Patsy Cline. I can't smoke weed with my brother and talk about the good times with the person and all the family reunions. I can't go to Douglas Burger and eat my lunch at my Pappy's grave, leaving him the tomatoes cause he always took them for me as I was a kid.

....I feel so lost, I don't know how to deal with it out here. It fuckin sucks..

So the ducks got spanked by the leafs last night. Ricky and I made watching the game interesting by doing bets, since his team won, I had to give him a massage before bed. I was hoping for some action, but after the massage he was so knocked out that he just went to sleep. I can't really blame him, he had to work in the morning and it was 2am haha.

So Ricky told me he is going to tell his guy friends to bring girls more often on the weekends so I can make some girl friends. I really don't mind, meeting some new people would be good for me since I know zero people here besides Ricky's friends and family. But to be honest, meeting other girls to try to be friends with, scares me...I just have never gotten along with girls before...or very few girls I should say. I am just not the girly girl type, and I can't stand drama. I have been told I am too blunt and not supportive enough by past girl friends. I just get annoyed very easily with the type of girls that let men walk all over them, or are boy crazy. I have always been the person that girls go to to vent about boy troubles for some reason...I really dont get it because they all knew what i would say "if you aren't happy, then why are you with him?"...it always lead to a "well you just dont understand" scenario and maybe I don't. I guess I have always had more of a guy mentality. I was never the type of girl that got my emotions caught up into relationships that I knew weren't going to go anywhere, and I would never let a man tear me down the way my friends back home do. I was always the "hook up" type and not the "relationship" type. I am pretty sure it shocked everyone that I got married, hell it even shocked me. But back to friendship with girls crap...its just not my thing, I feel more comfortable around a group of guys than I do with a bunch of girls. I never have had the patience for insecurities and gossip....maybe I just never have found the right group of girls. I know I shouldn't bunch girls up into a stereotype category, I know not all girls are that way...please someone introduce me to those girls! lol

Saturday I might have a lil chat with the guys about the kinds of girls I want (haha sounds like I am looking for a date). No girly girls that think they look fat when they are a size 5...no girls that are boy obsessed and don't get the meaning of what a fuck buddy is...i dont carry tissues in my purse for stupid shit like that...no girls who do not value themselves...and no absolute no drama!...I think that covers it.

SATURDAY: Ricky has the guys over every saturday to watch hockey, they all go in on proline tickets together and if anyone wins it is split between everyone. I don't really know what got into to me, I usually just drink beer, but I bought a bottle of vodka and drank waaay too much. I guess it was my last big hoorah before I stick to only water and green tea haha. It was a good time though and I hope that I didnt piss anyone off, I tend to joke around and get loud when I am drunk haha. This was the only time I wasn't the only girl too so I was excited lol.

SUNDAY: I was hungover and tried to sleep it off, but the co-op we live in had a meeting we needed to attend. So I was green in the face and sat through 2 1/2 hours of boring mumbo jumbo. My in-laws live in the same co-op as us, and they were in a similar situation as us. They had people over at their house playing cards until 3 am, so they were tired, but I was the only one who it was obvious had too much to drin. Of course the minute I walk in Ricky announces it to his parents that I am hungover, I really dont care cause they are cool and everything, but I don't want them thinking I have a drinking problem or anything. I am sure they don't think that of me, but ever since we moved out of their place they know we have been having people over every saturday.

TODAY: Health kick started today. I did the excercise dvd and It is pretty easy, mainly toning and stretching, and I feel really good afterwards. Making stew in the crock pot as I type. Stew isnt the most healthy dinner, but I did put tons of veggies in it, and I am giving Ricky all of the beef. Its 3:35 and I havent even gotten showered or anything, so I am going to do that after this post. then have some green tea. Tonight Rickys fav hockey team (Toronto) plays mine (Anaheim) but it doesn't start til 10, so we are planning on playing video games until then. Really looking forward to it! I am so optimistic and thinking positive today, I love it and I hopes this feeling lasts

well my insurance called me today. I go through State Farm and it is cheaper to be insured under 3 things than just one...so I have car, life and renter insurance through them. They told me today that my life insurance is going up, not by much, like $6 a month....its not that big of a deal, its just the reason....because I am fat.

...I guess I couldnt have picked a better time to start getting on this health kick. Kinda sucks for my self esteem though...I already know I am fat, I dont need someone else to tell me...and charge me for it lol.

Went to the library and picked up a workout DVD and a book.
I have it for 7 days so I start tomorrow. Its called "Plus Size Pilates" ...easy looking stuff, figured I better start slow since its been awhile.

I had to take Ricky to work this morning, so I was up at 6am...and once I am up I can never get back to sleep. I am going to clean today so I don't really mind. I cant wait for my period to be over, lol that is when I am going to really get in gear with the whole working out thing. I am starting a little now, it just kills me to excercise, so I have been just drinking lots of water and eating a little healthier now. Except for tonight, lol I am making pizza and salad for dinner. I think I am going to just eat salad, but pizza is hard to turn down. Im going to try though.

Ricky and I talked last night and I told him I am getting back on the health kick and he is super supportive about the whole thing. He said that he noticed that my moods have changed and felt that I was happier when I was working out, which I was. I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome)...well I was never completly diagnosed with it because they wanted to run some more tests on me, but I have all the symptoms and that is what my doctor was pretty sure I have. There is no cure for it, but I know my weight doesn't help it any. It really is for the best that I do this and Ricky understands and is encouraging me.  We didnt go grocery shopping because I wasnt feeling good. We are going to go tonight though so I really need to sit down and find some healthy recipes that Ricky wouldn't mind eating for dinner.

I think its time I got my day started, shower time, and all that fun junk.

So I have officially decided that I am going to go back to health mode.  Excercise again, eating healthier, portion control, and bring on the green tea and water! I have been feeling like such crap lately and I am pretty sure its because I stopped my healthy habits that I took on before the wedding. Now that we are settled in our own place it is going to be easier to eat healthier cause I am going to be cooking my own meals and I can excercise more freely since I dont like to excercise in front of people. I bought myself an excercise ball today. I know the library has some workout dvds that you can check out, and I think that is going to be the best for me since I tend to get bored quickly. I am also going to start taking advantage of the weather before it gets too cold and walk. This is something I have to do.
 
I am on my period right now (sorry if this is TMI) but it has been horrible these last few months. I get cramps soo bad! I really don't think they are normal, I have alot of problems in the woman area to begin with, and I think I am becoming more like my mother. Whenever it was her time of the month she would lay in bed for days and I always thought she was over reacting...now i am getting the same way. The cramps are so bad that I am nauseated, and when I move I feel like I am going to puke, but all i ever do is dry heave. It is horrible. I have always gotten pretty bad cramps but they seem to be getting worse. I am hoping if I get back on this health kick it will at least lessen the severity.

Going grocery shopping with the hubby tonight, and I need to come up with a menu for the rest of the week that is healthy and good enough for someone who isn't on a diet to enjoy hehe. My husband has the opposite problem as me, he needs to gain weight, and I need to lose it. It sickens me how skinny he is. Since moving in to our own place he has lost 5 lbs, which makes him 145lbs....I wont even step on a scale because i get depressed and emotional eat lol. But I know I am at least 100lbs more than him. I really don't get what he sees in me sometimes.

It has been awhile, but we finally picked up a new laptop! I will try to make this update as short as possible, I am not a huge fan of long entries, and I am sure some of you probably feel the same way. Hopefully I still have some lj friends out there! But if not, I understand, its been a few months since I last updated.

Me and Ricky finally got into our own place. The last couple months have been pretty chaotic with the move. We also bought a new car. Its a 2009 Hyundai Elantra. I love having my own car, and own place. I hated being so dependent on Ricky's dad to drive us everywhere. This place is starting to feel like home, which is really nice.

I am now a permanent resident of Canada, I just recieved my PR card in the mail about a week ago. So now I can start working, lately I have been on the job hunt. It is kind of hard because I have little work experience, and none whatsoever in the retail industry...and thats all i have been applying for. Hopefully someone will be willing to give me a shot. I also have a trip planned to go back home to California for Thanksgiving. I am missing home alot and I know that I need to see my family for thanksgiving, or Christmas will be hellish. So if I do get hired anywhere I really hope they understand and work around the trip for me. We are doing ok financially, but we aren't adding anything to our savings with me not working. Once I start to work we will be breathing easier cause our account will actually be raising numbers, and not at a stand still.

I am glad to be back, and I will do my best to catch up on everyones journals.

the computer has officially bit the dust. updating from ps3 and it is hard to do so i won't do this much. just wanted to apologise for my absence in lj land. hope everyone is doing good and i will try to keep updated on all of you.

This computer is acting wonky and I haven't been able to update.

I am doing good. Bites are starting to heal, a little less itchy. woot woot!
Missing the family alot lately. This weekend is my family reunion and the first time I haven't gone in a long time. Wish I could be there.

I am in need of a date night with the hubby. Not sure if we are going to do it tonight or tomorrow. We need the alone time. Plus I want a yummy meal

I havent been sleeping too well the past couple of nights, I don't think it helps that I stay in bed til noon. I really need something to wake up for. I also feel like I am doing nothing with my life. So I am going to think of some weekly goals, starting monday. I am stuck in a rut. I need to get back in to the health kick. Weather has been rainy so I haven't been on my daily walks nearly as much as I would like.